Beside the lost opportunities described above, not speaking up causes resentment, frustration, powerlessness and stress. Holding back from asking for what you need is like stuffing your emotions into a black velvet bag tied to your hip. When that bag gets too full, there is a risk your anger will leak out sideways meaning you might say something hurtful under your breath. Or you may stuff one too many unspoken desires in that bag and explode or react out of proportion.
TIPS AND TOOLS
- Picture you have a Board of Directors in your head. The members represent various developmental stages of your growth including younger versions of you frozen in time with the knowledge and fears of a young child. Whether you feel fear or confidence, gently notice which part is holding the gavel and leading the way. Let your fearful little girl go out to play and hand the gavel to your courageous, capable adult!
- Ask yourself, especially when overwhelmed or flooded with emotion, “What do I need?” Write or say this question out loud. Then, listen. You will be surprised to hear an answer from your inner self.
- If you worry about using the right words to ask, step into the right mindset instead. Tap into a mission bigger than you and ask for what you need for the sake of the greater good. Neutralize your request by being factual. “I am sick… on a deadline…overwhelmed. Can you please help me?”
ON YOU MARK, GET READY, ASK!
The world misses out when you don’t step up as a leader and contribute your voice. Being vulnerable actually demonstrates strength! Speak up and you will increase intimacy and strengthen relationships. You will inspire others and create positive change. Now more than ever women’s natural leadership, energy, and intuition, is needed to help the world not only survive but thrive.
Good ‘ole Dr. Seuss has a great quote for grownups that fits perfectly! “Be who you are and say what you feel. Those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind!”
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