Saving All Your Love for Mr. Right

savinglove

7 qualities of the perfect man

The recent news of Whitney Houston’s sudden death was both heartbreaking and tragic. Only 48 years old, on the verge of making a career comeback, Whitney seemed to finally be facing down her demons and embarking on what seemed a drug free life. And after 14 years of an abusive marriage, Whitney finally broke free in 2006, yet she admitted to still hoping that he would change and come back to her even after she left him. The wake up call to Whitney finally came when photos of Bobby Brown with other women appeared in the press and her daughter broke through to her by saying: “Enough, Mom! He always disappoints you and you deserve better”.

There are many of us who have been in Whitney’s situation – hanging on in an abusive situation and giving the person we love the benefit of the doubt, time after time after time. And most of us reach a tipping point, but some of us do not and continue to languish in unfulfilling relationships with men who can’t and won’t love.

If you happen to be in this situation and need incentive to leave or if you have just left a situation and are ready to date again, here is what you should be looking for and settle for nothing less than Mr. Right:

Mindful: Mr. Right, or someone with Good Husband Qualities, is mindful of your needs. If you’ve had a bad day, he wants to hear about it. If you want to take that class you’ve always dreamed of or make a career change, he makes you feel good about it and shows encouragement and does not feel threatened.

Respect: Someone with Good Husband Qualities always shows respect by listening and caring about your feelings. He doesn’t show a cartoon, eye popping, and tongue rolling face when an attractive woman walks by. And he would never show disrespect in his behavior towards you by neglecting you, lying or cheating.

Resolves: The right mate works to resolve issues and conflicts through mature discussion and reasoning. He may get upset, we all do, but his anger doesn’t escalate into threats, verbal abuse or violence. If he blames you for his anger and says your behavior gives him cause to behave badly, you are in an abusive relationship and should get away as fast as you can.

Integrity: Mr. Right is always acts with integrity and doesn’t disappoint you or your children. In fact, Bobby Brown’s daughter said there were many times when he did not do what he said he would do and that is devastating to a child.

Grateful: The right person deeply appreciates you and shows that appreciation through loving words, kindness and affection. He knows he can do no better and lets you know it. He doesn’t have to shower you with gifts – just lets you know that you can trust in his love for you.

Happy: Mr. Right should make you feel happy. You should feel confident in who you are, and how you express yourself. He wants to be with you and lets you know it. If you are constantly seeking advice from family and friends because he makes you wonder or second guess or doubt yourself or his love for you, then he’s Mr. Wrong.

Tolerant: Mr. Right doesn’t blow up when something goes wrong and use it as an excuse to blame you or put you down. He reacts to a crisis situation in a mature and respectful way. He does not bale or walk away when the going gets tough. He tolerates your faults and loves you in spite of them because that’s what love is.

So, if you find yourself with Mr. Wrong, it’s time to walk away. He’s not going to change and he’s selfishly wasting your precious time. Don’t be like Whitney – instead learn from her mistake and start inserting Mr. Right into the “Saving all My Love for You” song. There are plenty of men with Good Husband Qualities and you should settle for nothing less. You deserve love and happiness – remember that.

Bela_Gandhi

About Bela Gandhi

Bela Gandhi is the founder of Smart Dating Academy, a full dating coaching service that provides busy, successful professionals with one-on-one coaching, image consulting, personal shopping, professional photography and online dating consulting. She has been featured as a dating and relationship expert for the Chicago Tribune, WGN-TV, Tribune University, CL-TV, WGN Radio, RedEye and The Mash, and has been called "The Fairy Godmother of Dating" by the Huffington Post. Ms. Gandhi also has extensive personal career coaching experience through her affiliation and board membership with The Cara Program.